Not all girls want to cook food in this part of the world – nor all men hate cooking. However, the norm of our society is such that men are supposed to be the bread earner and women are expected to run the household. Under such circumstances, girls are frequently told by their mothers to learn few basics so that they could manage their kitchen independently after getting married and doesn’t bring shame to the family name…hawww!

This trend is silently changing at least for the past two decades now as the girls are acquiring higher education, getting into the corporate world and not been able to create that natural link which was so much part of the DNA of one-generation-up females.

I’m no exception either. Being a nerd all my life with my only interest in books, I started my job the next day my under-grad got finished. I never wanted to cook – not because I found it demeaning or anything. Actually, it never crossed my mind. My family was very supportive and my education had always been tough. So nobody bothered me and I bothered no one – the law of reciprocity worked 🙂

But that doesn’t mean that I knew jack about how cooking was done. I mean, just like the way guys keep an eye on the driver and learn driving just by looking at it – our frequent visits to the kitchen, for grabbing one thing or another, does teach us some basic rules of cooking. Even if we don’t accept this!

So I got married with this not-so-commendable level of skill set. I got a job one month after I was hitched. My in-laws were again very understanding and supportive and they never asked me to cook either. So a new routine got established in which becoming an authority in the culinary section was never a priority.

On the other hand, my husband has a lot of taste in his hands and he also shows interest in cooking on not-so-frequent basis. In fact, when a girl gets married in this part of the world, she is expected to start cooking by making some sweet. On the fourth day of our marriage, it was him who made suji ka halwa and released me from this one last ritual once and for all.

There are many households in Pakistan where division of labor becomes a prominent reason behind a fight especially in a joint family system. My life mantra is such that if there is anything in the world, which you can fix by buying or hiring someone else’s services then do that. If problem-solving is under your control, then please don’t bring negative energy into your life – avoid it at any cost. And don’t weaken your relationships just because one party is not agreeing with your ideologies.

Mostly head of the family create such problems, when they are fixated for not hiring a cook, in case the daughter-in-law doesn’t want to do it or can’t do it. But what I have seen is that they would prefer having arguments till their last breath than sourcing this chore and making their life a bit less miserable.

This is totally not worth it but then again, sometimes life doesn’t give us choices to take command over a situation:!

Anyway, my fast got broken when I had to return to my work after maternity leave. By then my daughter was on weaning. Plus, it was Daycare’s rule to send three meals (breakfast, snack and lunch) everyday for the baby.

Honestly, if you ask me, I didn’t want to outsource this chore to anyone. I had always been served fresh food all my life. So cooking a day earlier or giving refrigerated food was out of question as well. By the way, it was my personal choice and I don’t judge those mothers who cook meal a day earlier to better manage their time!

Under such a circumstance, I started waking up two hours prior to my regular schedule and began experimenting with her food. I wanted to give her something different each day so I consulted fellow mothers and also took help from the daycare staff. Everyone was of great help to me.

It was then that it revealed upon me that people who like to eat good food actually can make good food. They cannot compromise on eating something which doesn’t budge to their taste buds. I’m the biggest critic of my cooking. Once, I gave out all the Pasta that I had just cooked because it didn’t turn out to be the way I wanted it to be. It was the akhri Pasta of my life 🙂

Anyway,  from making curries to small potions of sweets – I gradually gained confidence. I started judging my cooking by observing how well my daughter finishes her food. She was my only audience – my most precious audience.

With time, my interest in cooking increased and I started making food for the household. Today, my culinary is widely appreciated by my family and I’m really happy about it.

The point to emphasize over here is that for something to be in your life, you just need a kick. And the kick should come from within.

Cooking is an art – trust me on that. Every time my husband makes an omelette, it is different. All the Chinese and Pakistani spices goes into it – sometimes, nothing goes into it but it is special every single time. So yeah, this mastery is God-ordained!

Never push yourself into learning art. Especially, if you are unmarried, and you have no desire to cook then just get the basics – don’t cook. Everything eventually happens with time. By taking stress, nothing gets sorted out!

So happy cooking, whenever the time is good for you 🙂