Depression is a killer reality of our times. Where at one end, the era we are living in has made us progressive and enabled in many ways, it has also taken away our stamina of absorbing a lot many things, making us depressed and hopeless most of the times. In the About Me section of my blog, I have already made a confession regarding not being an expert on any subject, but I still would like to give my two cents on our peace of mind which is the foremost thing to live this life. I really hope this read becomes a good help to many!

I remember when I was a kid, I used to get depressed on getting bad grades or having a fight with somebody but little did I know that the intensity of that depression was absolutely nothing as compared to the one people feel as they grow old and just can’t seem to handle. Although, for that age, such incidents were big enough to lose one’s mind but the kind of depression I’m talking about right here is a level up game and must be addressed accordingly. May be ignorance and innocence mellow down the effects of sufferings whereas the age and experiences make the similar intensity of blow feel even harder.

Ladies and gentlemen, depression is real. It is the ailment of human emotions and feelings. Just like people get physically sick and need medicines, proper food and rest to get back to life, depression is the virus of mind. It sickens your emotions and takes you away from life. It causes sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.

It becomes prominent when it starts affecting your body; such as migraine, insomnia, numbness of body etc. The sufferer surely needs help to get out of this phase. Ironically there comes a time when the physical ailment gets so damn excruciating that the person stops worrying about its main cause and starts putting all his energy to fix the symptoms. Hence, deep down a human mind, the problem remains and keep coming back!

The popular solution doctors usually have are the anti-depressants and the psychiatric session. Where anti-depressant relaxes the muscles and causes excessive sleep, psychiatric sessions help in talking it out. Idea is to sit back, recall that incident that triggered depression and throw clues to the listener as to how he can fix this. These sessions also help you to reflect back and give you a different perspective of the same situation (only if you try this way). Patients feel a lot of relief after these sessions. Some may heal, others remain stuck and helpless and don’t seem to find a way out.

So how can one self-help?

Btw, I’m myself very nervous to write about something which commands medicinal professionalism. But after seeing someone close to me suffering from this, I decided to volunteer in extending help. If nothing else, this could be a good relaxing read.

Btw, we need to establish certain facts here about depression. It can cause many physical and emotional problems. But not all physical and emotional problems trace back to depression. For example, anxiety (meaning feeling worried, having panic attacks, uneasiness) is not depression. Getting panic attacks (on stand alone basis) is not depression either. They are the unbalanced reactions of emotions and hormones but cannot necessarily lead back to depression. One gets panic attack or anxiety on losing out the harmony of mind. They do not cause you to lose interest in your life altogether. It is very important to understand what your problem is. Otherwise a misguided diagnoses can completely ruin the treatment.

Depression can be caused by the loss of your loved ones, side effects of any medicine, genetics, serious physical issues, complexes, abuse etc. In other words, depression can be triggered by anything your mind can’t accept and absorb. The pendulum misses the equilibrium point every time the mind goes here and forth so what does one do?

Well, the only solution is to bring back the mind to its balanced position. So the next question is, how do we bring back that balance? We eat proper, we change our lifestyle, we quickly detach ourselves from the people/environment who causes depression (if that is possible) and we take a break!

Some of the things I write here may not have a direct effect but in the overall scheme of things a little bit of this and that will surely be a game changer. Firstly, please start meditation. Read how meditation works. You can get a head start from my blog – Power of Meditation. Meditation brings back harmony of your mind. It allows your muscles to relax and focus.

If you read Buddha’s story, you will be surprised to find out that he started his journey of self-discovery after seeing suffering. He was a prince of his county. His father always wanted to protect him from seeing the sufferings and miseries of this world – it is said that Buddha was destined to become either a great ruler or a spiritual leader. His father, however, wished for him to become the former and hence, built a world of luxury and comfort all around him. But the karma had other plans. Young boy, at the age of 29, while exploring his land, saw an ill man, then an old person and finally a corpse. This reality bit him a bit too hard. He became sad and left his world of comfort to understand life and get “enlightenment”.

Meditation is the brain child of Buddha.  It helped him in enduring the sufferings. Literal meaning of Buddha is “the awakened”. You can find a lot of literature on his teachings but my subject of interest is only that part which can be used to heal depression.

Please start doing meditation. Ten minutes a day. When people get fever, they all have the same symptoms. Hence, to cure such ailments, one-medicine-that-suits-all  can help. But when people get sufferings, not everyone react the same way. For example, you loved somebody and he died. There will be another person who had similar sentiments and bond with that person but both of you will react differently. One will get depression and question his or her own life. The other person will somehow, get out of this. Both of you will go through a period of mourning but both of you should not be given the same medicine.

As far as I have understood this, one should not turn to medicines that quickly. Talk it out – every day. If you can find a good listener who is also positive in and out then consider half your problem solved. I cannot really comment if changing your diet can help but may be!

I can’t really advice you to volunteer at some hospital or any other place where you could go, extend your help and feel good about your gesture. Because I feel that when somebody is already low, he should be exposed to happiness and calmness in life and not more sufferings to feel any better.

Pray – whatever religion you are following. Have a connection with your God. He is a good listener and try to wake up at Tahujjud ( a little before sun rise). That’s the best time when He is all ears.

Travel – go to the mountains. Try some beach. Or just connect to the people who make you feel good about yourself. You need to unplug yourself from your regular environment. If it is not possible for infinity – a little road trip can help. I’m not necessarily asking you to go some place where you can find luxury hotels. Instead you need to go for trekking. Enjoy a night at the camp, stare at the stars, take that non-stop local bus which can make you jump and listen to unknown Pushto music, enjoy open loo with just one bottle of water in hand. You need to connect to the nature because nature has all the answers.

You need to understand that what has already been done cannot be undone. All you are doing is tuning your mind a bit to take a different route if something similar happens. And you can totally do this my friend. I promise!

Long time ago, I got into some trouble while being in my college. It was extremely bad and I almost had a nervous breakdown. My father was very strict in terms of permitting his kids to go out on college trips but I have no idea how I convinced him. (Actually I do, we argued until I got permission :|) Anyway, college trip was going to Hunza – my first ever trip without family and that too at the place which has my heart. Honestly speaking, none of my best friend was going with me. I just randomly tagged along with a girl who was a good acquaintance. I have a very fair idea that such trips can become absolutely fantastic with your best buddies but for fixing your soul, the best recipe is to tag along somebody you hardly know, explore people and spend more time with yourself. I did all this and everything above I just mentioned. And it helped me a great deal. Btw, I do understand that I didn’t have depression at that time – it was a phase but then again it was a bad phase to be at.

Another important incident I recall getting stuck was when I had my first born and I had a lot of challenges raising her especially during the first 2-3 months. She was a premie and needed professional care. She wasn’t ill alhumdollilah but the kind of care she demanded made me exhausted to the core. I got depression – postpartum depression it was. During this time, my husband helped me a lot. I was not in a position to go to the mountains and had no information regarding meditation either so I was in a mess.

He would ask his parents to take care of the child and then would make me sit in the car. Upon asking where we are heading, he would politely reply: “Wherever this road leads us to…” And then there it was. Of many things I feel grateful to have this man as my life partner, his ability to fix back my pendulum right at the center is his greatest quality and for that I’ll be forever indebted to him. Feel free to say mashAllah 🙂

So we would go for a long – long – long drive. Obviously all these drives had an end but the music, little petty talk, outside views (hardly any but still better than being at home and feeling bad about yourself) and roadside spicy food (gol gappay, oranges, lassi, thunda doodh – anything and everything) had the power to energize my mood and make me feel better about myself.

I would also advise you not to head to some fancy restaurant when you are feeling bad – take your car out and put it on the GT road with some good music on and then make your stop at Mian Jee Ki daal with karak cup of  chai – you will feel accomplished 🙂

Some other tips to save you from this phase (as soon as you realize that it is about to hit you) is to change your position – whatever you are doing. It is also a hadith regarding controlling your anger that if you are angry then sit in case you are standing, and lie down in case you are sitting – meaning you need to change your posture to control your state of mind. If nothing else, just run to the fridge and eat ice cream – whatever flavor you have at home – 🙂

Lastly, there is this one dialogue from Mad Men (my heartthrob’s series) that I will never forget is that when Peggy (some character in the drama in case you haven’t watched it) is hospitalized and Don (her boss at work) goes to meet her ( they just share a good boss-worker relationship and nothing else). He tells her rather firmly (knowing that she is having a depression and is going through the lowest lows of her life):

“Get Out Of here and Move On!!!”

His assertive voice made it clear all of a sudden. Sometimes you need a nudge to come out of this – a hard (read harsh) nudge. I am a firm believer of the fact that we are nothing but some microchips, cladded under different bodies. Inside us are different rooms, a sad room and a happy room, then a panic room and depression room. All moods are different rooms and in order to live happily, you cannot stay at one room for more than usual. In case it gets fixated, you need to tell your mind that:

“It needs to get out of this particular room and move on”.

This is the only cure of your depression.

Thank you for your time !